The First Practice Alone – Just Me and My Mat
It's early morning, maybe a bit too early. The sun starts to quietly rise above the hedge I just planted, sending soft morning rays that try to warm the grass, which is still cold in my backyard outside the house. The air is crisp, almost cool, and full of the scent of a new morning and my first solo practice. I stand barefoot, a new yoga mat stretched out before me, staring me in the eyes and saying, “Alright, let’s see you do this on your own…”
This time, it’s just me.
There’s no group around, no one to watch how the others are practicing, no one guiding me to close my eyes or release my shoulders.
And suddenly, I remember them – the incredible way they guide and accompany us through exercises and life. I remember their voices, their movements, their gentle touch,
their smiles, and their conversations. I hear their voice in my mind, directing us through the practice – soft, precise, confident – “Relax, your body knows what to do.”
I feel lucky that I met them at this stage in my life.
My thoughts drift, until the mat is staring at me again –
“Well… are you planning to stand on me all day, or are you here to practice?”
it seems to ask. I decide – “It’s time.”
I sit on the mat in a cross-legged position, the grass beneath me is soft and still cool.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and try to relax.
At first, my body feels stiff, as though it refuses to surrender to the silence.
My thoughts swirl like a whirlpool: plans for the day ahead, memories from last week,
even a shopping list – everything tries to steal this moment from me.
But I won’t give up – I’ve overcome much more, so what is practice compared to that?
I begin the practice as I was taught: deep, sustained breaths that fill my lungs with fresh, cool air and then slowly release it. With every breath, I imagine I’m clearing my thoughts, worries, and whatever else might be bothering me at that moment...
At first, it feels a little ridiculous. I feel like I’m observing myself, judging, searching for a “right way” to do it. But then I hear one of my instructors, as if they’re standing right beside me, speaking in that calm voice: “There is no right or wrong. Just be.”
After a few breaths, I’m calmer.
My body relaxes, my thoughts center on themselves and me,
the mat is communicating with me again, but this time, it’s in a good way…
I move into Sun Salutations – soft, flowing movements that feel like a conversation between my body, the gentle breeze that’s started, my mat, which is encouraging me,
and the entire world around me.
And here, something begins to change.
My shoulders relax, my back softens and stops aching,
my breaths become smooth, and suddenly – euphoria!
I don’t need to force myself to be “in the moment” – it just happens on its own.
The movement and breath merge together, and every part of my body awakens to life: my arms stretch effortlessly, my legs seem rooted deeply in the earth, my heart and mind open to the quiet around me, to the quiet that has suddenly entered within me.
At the end of the Sun Salutations, I lie down for relaxation on the mat.
My eyes are closed, my body is still, almost limp, thanking me.
Something deep within me relaxes, as if all the noise inside has been absorbed and taken far away. I listen to my breath, quiet and steady, feeling it connect me to myself –
without effort, without thought.
When I open my eyes, the sun is already shining brighter on the grass.
Around me, there is only nature, the quiet, and the mat,
which now winks at me with a proud expression.
My first solo practice is over, and I sit for a moment, letting this feeling sink in.
It wasn’t as hard as I thought. The moment I decided just to do it, everything flowed.
My body knew what to do, my heart knew how to calm down, the instructors seemed to be there with me, and the entire world (yes, even the mat, which developed a personality of its own) was there to support me. And honestly, I didn’t need anything more.
In this moment, early in the morning, on the grass in front of my house,
I understood something simple:
The peace I’ve always sought – it’s already here.
It’s been waiting for me to allow it to enter.
Written by Idan Ladany, Officer in the Egoz Unit, BIY graduate
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